It represents someone who is not his or her best self. The blue is the part that is sad or frozen in some aspect of their life. The phoenix is our best self. When you first meet someone, you may see both. Our goal is to move them from a Blue Phoenix to a Phoenix. We start with standard coaching tools like strengths finding and visioning to do this.
However, it’s rarely that easy. When someone attempts this shift, their inner critic puts up obstacles to protect them from taking risks. The inner critic was formed when they attempted risks early in life and were hurt or criticized. To change, they must experience a phoenix like fire.
There is a part of the story of the phoenix that we do not usually talk about. That’s the part where they set themselves on fire. When someone transforms, they do things that are uncomfortable. Their normal default thinking and behaviors change. And people interact back in a different way. Their worldview changes which causes cognitive dissonance, which is scary. Most people without support, will retreat back to comfortable behaviors to avoid the discomfort. They sabotage themselves.
People must become comfortable with the unknown, uncertainty and risk for true transformation to occur. There are tools and advanced coaching techniques to accomplish this.
Has this been your experience with personal change?
Do you know a Blue Phoenix?
I look forward to your comments below.